On Disconnecting
Yes, I'm writing a blog post about disconnecting from technology. No, the irony is not lost on me. ;)
This "vacation" thing is amazing.
— Scott Hanselman (@shanselman) August 25, 2015
Disconnecting can be hard for a number of reasons, in my experience. There's the usual obvious stuff like the fact that we're literally addicted to the serotonin rush of social media's faux urgency, but there's also aspects that aren't talked about as much. Like, will I have a job when I get back?
I know it's silly to say (or at least, I think it's silly to say) but I still think about the day to day stuff at work and wonder "well, if I leave, who will do it?" Now, hang back, this isn't about me, it's about irrational feelings, so bear with the post. I'm certainly not irreplaceable, none of us are, but I think it's common to feel a combination of feelings like:
- Who will work on Project X without me?
This implies I'm either the only one, or the best suited. Then there's the opposite:
- What happens if I'm gone so long that they realize they never needed me at all?
Sometimes on vacation I feel both of these things. They are irrational, but that doesn't make them any less real.
The hardest part about going on vacation isn't the disconnecting, for me, it's the realizing that I'm supposed to go on vacation.
What do YOU think about vacation, Dear Reader? Am I alone in my thoughts here?
* Photo "Stormtrooper on Vacation by JD Hancock used under CC
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About Scott
Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
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Thus, I would extend the aforementioned exercise to the first day you're back. Then you should allow yourself to start fresh instead of rushing through 2 weeks worth of mails in an attempt to roll back your absence...
What do you think?
We also have this theory that we can have a break after the next big release. In reality what happens is that you get through that release period, only to find a new big release that has to be done yesterday so you soldier on in that respect. In the 2015 calendar year I've had 4 annual leave days so far, and with what we need to do I can't see any more until November. After we get through October (we run the World Education Games, this year on Azure!) I am determined to have a break, completely disconnect. I say it every year...
This may sound stupid, but I have made the experience that it is good to prepare consciously for holidays, both for yourself, your family/friends, and your coworkers.
And also: put trust in the others that they can accomplish stuff! Yeah, maybe someone else has twice as long as you, or produces that "not-so-elegant" solution, but hey they have brains too.
And last but not least: trust yourself, that you are appreciated not only for the know-how, or the proficiency, but also as a person.
I just had a 6 weeks holiday. I know what I am talking about :)
When it comes to disconnecting, the best vacations I have been on were a few days on a tall ship. I do that fairly regularly, at least once every two years for over 10 years now. What makes tall ship sailing so great to disconnect from daily life? There are several reasons:
* There is no internet when you are out at sea, except for a sattelite connection which the crew is not allowed to use freely.
* Tall ship sailing is labor. You get exhausted, so you sleep well, and you have little time to worry about work and daily life.
* At least on the ship I sail on, you work in two shifts per day: 4 hours shift, 8 hours free time you use to sleep, eat and just enjoy life at sea. Shifts can be 0-4 (midnight and midday), 4-8 (early morning and afternoon) and 8-12 (late morning and evening).
With the shifts and the completely different daily routine it sometimes takes about 72 hours and you don't even know anymore the day of the week.
Before free wireless conquered the world just leaving your country was another great way to disconnect. Now you get free wireless at every coffee shop and in lots of hotels, which is technically fine, but doesn't really help you disconnecting.
Impostor syndrome alive and well over here, even after ten years in this job.
Thought and preparation is given to setting things up where there will be no distractions from that primary goal.
My Dad was a union man, and tried to get it into our heads from an early age that you work to live, not live to work. It took several death-march jobs for me to understand what he meant (I can be stubborn).
I love my job, the work is stimulating, my employer is fantastic.
I can walk away from it at a moments notice, my job does not define who I am.
Before I had my own family, holidays were times to spend with friends and family, preferably somewhere remote and amazing and as far from my everyday life as possible.
When I'm away I disconnect from work completely, I may touch base with friends and family, which may happen over social media, and then only when it complements the primary goal.
I have zero problems disconnecting :)
Still paranoid, but not necessarily contradictory.
Vacation, recharging, disconnecting etc. are all parts of your job; staying functional, productive and sane are just responsibilities you have to the team. So your concerns about whether they'll realize they don't need you should not factor into it (of course you might work for a company that doesn't understand this 😱).
Or think of it as resilience in the team to someone getting sick for a few days.
His staff would fret and ask what they'd do when he couldn't be reached. He'd say "What would you do if I were dead? Do that."
In 2011 I spent 5 weeks in Patagonia in the mountains in a tent. Didn't even take anything electronic except an mp3 player. Best time EVER.
I think about going back every single day.
Disconnecting really isn't an option.
From personal perspective , your vacation does not have to be a resort , it can be just your home , if you need rest or it could be good time for some spiritual retreating
So I hate vacation? No, I really enjoy it, but I keep it to a minimum both for the obvious reasons above, but also because I really like my job! :)
When that said, I feel with you, in another and more technical way.
I always have hobby projects which I work on at night, the last 1-2 years it has been a game in Unity3d - not related at all to my day job.
Here I sometimes can have the feeling of, "ASP.NET/WPF/What-ever has got all these new things, while I was "off" doing other stuff...Can I still build things in it, am I out dated now?"
I have tried that a few times now, and so far the reality is, that yes, I miss some of the things, but when I start working on "what-ever-I-have-been-await-from" again, very, I mean very, quickly I'm up to speed and on board again.
I still do hobby project, both because I can't help my self, but also because I feel/think/hope I get something else out of doing these projects that are usually not work released at all.
- My thoughts :)
//Mads
I am so glad I'm not the only one who things these things when "trying to get away from it all."
George
Yes, I recognize these feelings. Don't feel embarrassed about it. I read about the same feeling in the post of one of my online buddies as well. She was a bit reluctant to go online again. And I recognize that too. I went offline (not completely, but most of the time) for about three weeks, and it felt good. My phone is on flight mode 75% of the day, lately. The Headspace app (https://www.headspace.com/) gives me the necessary quality relax time. My cat likes the relaxed version of me, too. :-) using the app helps me cope with that feeling of anxious thoughts (like the ones you mentioned).
Best to you, here's to quality time!
@Jojanneke
I still maintain that philosophy. I take a cell phone on vacation mainly because most of my vacations are motorcycle trips and sometimes stuff goes wrong and you need to call for help. I absolutely do not leave my cell number with the office, they can get along without me for a few days. If they can't, well there's a problem with the office, not with me.
What's a little disturbing is all of the people trying to use the awful satellite-based Wi-Fi. Seriously, you're on an amazing ship, with your family, in blue water. Pay attention! The Internet can wait.
I recognize that some people have a hard time taking time off for the reasons Scott mentions. "Will I have a job when I get back?" "Will the world come to an end because no one's working on my stuff?" Fortunately, I do not have that gene.
Do this.
Move to Europe. You'll get 4 - 6 weeks paid vacation per year. Practice makes perfect buddy - just keep taking weeks off - you'll get the hang of it ;-)
The good news is in many places like the UK, it is also a legal requirement that you take this time off. Your employer will be in trouble if you don't take it.
I hear in France they were even considering making it illegal for employers to pester their employees during "family" time, meaning they wouldn't be allowed to even email you on holiday on pain of legal sanction. I think that's a step too far, but then I look at workers rights in America and I think - well maybe...
S
I am in Europe though, and there seems to be a real difference in work culture between Europe and the US.
Did you know that the USA is the only country in the western world where there is no law mandating a minimum number of vacation days an employer must offer an employee per-year? For comparison the legal minimum in the UK is 20, while in France it is 25. This doesn't even include the public holidays in each country.
I've learned that six weeks is just enough, first week to get to vacation mood and last week for adjusting to thought that vacation is over. That leaves four weeks for proper vacationing.
But no matter how long my vacation is, there's always the fear that someone might go and touch my code while I'm away :)
I find I am typically much more productive upon my return, my creative juices are recharged, etc.
My best disconnecting ones are boat based as other posters have mentioned.
We do a week on Lake Roosevelt on a Houseboat where there is no connectivity for the last 10 years or so. This one is great as it is extended family, etc.
The last three years we have done 3-5 weeks sailing from florida to the bahamas and back. The only connectivity there is every 3-5 days when you hit a marina with Wifi. Highly recomended.
The ability to disconnect, recharge and relax has become important enough to me vacation policy has become a crucial deal breaker for me in the past at various jobs. I work long and hard while in the office and feel I have above average productivity. As such I also believe me taking a longer vacation to recharge and come back super productive is a benefit to not only me but also any company I am working for.
Now that I am back, it takes several days to get back in to projects (no trouble "fire-fighting" though). I think there is a fear of launching in to a development project and taking the wrong approach. I mostly work alone which also may have something to do with my slow start.
Anyway, I am off to read some more blogs.
I'm a contractor, so my mindset is a bit different. It can sometimes be a little difficult to get work, but my skillset is usually in demand, and even if current clientco don't want me when I get back from a holiday, someone else will. I do try to plan holidays between contracts / renewals, though it doesn't always work out that way.
I think there's a lot of false security held by most people in their work; good developers are hard to come by, and those that are highly skilled are quite often a little too modest, or reliant on these false securities. In the development world, the grass is usually greener, and the vast majority of the time my next gig is more interesting and / or challenging than the last. I worry that people might not follow guidelines and best practices I've put in place (I am quite often the gatekeeper / technical lead), but at the end of the day, that's got more to do with my superiority complex than anyone else :P
However I still get flustered when I come back from a 3 day camping trip and people have dared to work on my project. "How could they know all those things I know to worry about if they only just started looking at it!" I know that's foolish, but you can't help but feel a little (self-)righteous indignation.
I've had the same thoughts: "How are they going to finish things without me?" but as soon as I started disconnected that thought was gone and I could finally focus on my vacation.
Yeah, that still lives on in America. My youngest, who was born in 2000, nearly damaged herself rolling her eyes. We traveled in "no bars" areas and stayed in hotels with 300 baud equivalent WiFi. I enjoyed being out of touch. I warned everyone ahead of time that the odds of me answering an email were slim.
I was born in 1953 and spent my Summers on my grandmother's farm, complete with outhouse, in the hills of West Virginia. It wasn't quite like that, but close enough to remind me to remember it.
Step 2: Put the SIM card in a flip phone with no data connectivity.
Step 3: Enjoy the vacation with the knowledge that you can still be reached via phone in the event of a real emergency.
I think Tony Schwartz is brilliant on this subject:
http://theenergyproject.com/blog/struggling-to-disconnect-from-our-digital-lives
Then there's Nigel Marsh:
http://www.ted.com/talks/nigel_marsh_how_to_make_work_life_balance_work?language=en
And of course, TED has lots more to say on the subject:
https://www.ted.com/playlists/60/work_smarter
Bottom line for me...I won't be going to my death bed worrying about whether I put enough hours in to keep my job. Hopefully I'll be smiling at all the great experiences I had on the journey.
If that's the case, the responsibility will fall to you to ensure that other people are aware of your projects and have the flexibility to handle them.
Vacation time is for me and my family to rest/play/experience/enjoy. I love my job, but it does not define me, and thankfully, it does not control me.
Maybe you think taking a little call, or reply to some emails, no harm done right? What would really have happened if you hadn't done that?? They would have figured it out without you. You are replaceable.
I've even heard horror stories of people being told to cancel vacation because something at work came up. That's no way to live.
Especially when leadership does it, it sends the message that this is an expectation. Good thing I stuck at following examples!
I personally prefer micro-vacations: half a day here and there throughout the year, rather than a couple larger blocks. Could be partly to do with my relatively low-stress job.
However, I always try to ensure that my work can speak for itself, taking the time to test things as thoroughly as possible, keep my project information publicly accessible, and never deploying on a Friday. I am eminently obsolete by my own design (mostly because I'd rather be somewhere else or working on something cooler.)
As such, I don't really worry about ever getting calls from my work. I wonder; is this a bad thing?
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