Link-bait Hacker Slash News Dot Considered Cancerous Request For Call To Action
Considered Harmful
Declarative statement opening blog statement. Back away from declarative statement slightly, pivot then double down with even more controversial declarative statement. Insult beloved programming language and assert newer language's idiomatic aesthetic as superior. Including backing statistics with missing Y-axis labels to prop up weak link-bait including declarative statement. Reference Linus, invoke Dijkstra. Oh, everything looks bad if you remember it.
Biased Benchmarks
Supporting albeit equivocating statement. Weak marginally equivocating statement because I want to be on TechCrunch. Farmville.
if 1 then A
else if 2 then B
else if 3 then C
else/otherwise D
Supporting K&R C quote inducing page references with non sequitur reference to Mythical man month.
Use the right tool for the right job. Grep harder. Appeal to authority. Fowler invocation asserting Turing completeness. That's not NP complete. Try to grok harder.
UR doing it wrong
I suggest you try it again. This time, let go your conscious self and act on instinct. Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized. Spare me your space age technobabble, Attila the Hun! Soothe us with sweet lies.
There's a cat in that computer. It's running a custom Mint Distro. That's a meme!
Use the right tool for the right job. SRSLY. Down-voted into oblivion. Obscure Spolsky link justifying contrarian position.. It's a Atwoodian tautology.
Accusations of intellectual dishonesty
Off-handed reference to FizzBuzz, dreamy reminiscence of Programming Pearls, reference to my first Altair and frustration at the current state of affairs.
CmdrTaco name drop, dig at Digg, Y-Combinator sour grapes. I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks *and* blows. Yes, if you make it look like an electrical fire. It's a go-cart, powered by my own sense of self-satisfaction.
Reference to pointless diagram and misplaced frustration at Large Company. Comment directed at patent trolls combined with acerbic witty statement with regards to Lessig and software patents pointlessness.
Random bolded concluding sentence.
Follow me. Read my blog. I have opinions.
About Scott
Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
About Newsletter
Further comment designed to incite discussion by completely misquoting the author.
Link to personal blog attempting to get more hits.
Unsaid plead for acceptance.
Painfully uncool signoff.
Obligatory statement that I've tried both ways to give my self credibility.
too soon?
Wait you don't have voting here. DISAPPOINT.
Statement that indicates I have an issue with a random completely unrelated problem with system and/or homework that I need to complete.
Demand for you to help me without reason including deadline for your help.
Email address to send answers to.
- Bikeshedder
Posts lame comments and makes chiding remarks about your appearance, then goes onto make "YOUR MOMMA IS SO FAT" jokes.
Posted from iPhone. ;)
This code in fact does compile, but introduces a severe logic and / or security bug.
|\_/| ****************************
/ @ @ \ * Comment has pwned *
( > º < ) * by *
`»»x««´ * t3h adminz!!11one *
/ O \ ****************************
"Title of the Song" by Da Vinci's Notebook
Declaration of my feelings for you
Elaboration on those feelings
Description of how long these feelings have existed
Belief that no one else could feel the same as I
Reminiscence of the pleasant times we shared
And our relationship’s perfection
Recounting of the steps that led to our love’s dissolution
Mostly involving my unfaithfulness and lies
Penitent admission of wrongdoing
Discovery of the depth of my affection
Regret over the lateness of my epiphany
CHORUS
Title of the song
Naïve expression of love
Reluctance to accept that you are gone
Request to turn back time
And rectify my wrongs
Repetition of the title of the song
Enumeration of my various transgressive actions
Of insufficient motivation
Realization that these actions led to your departure
And my resultant lack of sleep and appetite
Renunciation of my past insensitive behavior
Promise of my reformation
Reassurance that you still are foremost in my thoughts now
Need for instructions how to gain your trust again
Request for reconciliation
Listing of the numerous tasks that I’d perform
Of physical and emotional compensation
CHORUS
Acknowledgment that I acted foolishly
Increasingly desperate pleas for your return
Sorrow for my infidelity
Vain hope that my sins are forgivable
Appeal for one more opportunity
Drop to my knees to elicit crowd response
Prayers to my chosen deity
Modulation and I hold a high note…
CHORUS
links to extremely spammy sites
Mentioning something about neuroscience. Giving a whole new perspective on the issue.
Alter previous paragraph to proceed to next comment.
Statement bringing into question sexual preferences of previous commenters
Statement that contradicts previous comment
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PS IE7
PPS IE8
"Comment about how it is absolutely absurd that once again the user interface here has been redesigned and I'm being forced to use a different view of a service that I pay nothing for."
^^^ This!!
-e
V1a6ra Ad
Weak attempt at copying humor of post author, followed by *chuckle, chuckle* and three rows of emoticons.
Ending with stalkingly creepy fanboy message, mentioning new flower bed that blog post author installed on his front lawn just yesterday, followed by "see you round the neighborhood *chief inspector dreyfus eye-stuttering wink*"
Thank you in advance.
I have mistakenly used this comment form to send a private message to you.
Too-good-to-be-true business proposal related to sudden but unfortunate death of Nigerian prince husband.
Invitation to send prayers and account details to complete transaction.
Unusually formal closing.
Lasting peace and happiness for *ALL* human beings.
Elitist posts showing FizzBuzz in assembler and brainf*ck!
Random Lolcat image
smiley face, smiley face
-Sean
p.s comment thanking OP for bestest blog on tha intarwebz
Did Case-Mate Just Leak The iPhone 5?
Did /dev/fort Just Hand Over Astronaut Listening Data To The WWW?
(hundreds of other articles)
I don't know what OP means.
Scott is no longer trying to sell his toy train collection.
No one's called anyone a Nazi in the comments yet. Impressive.
Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Nigerian Princess!
It took me an hour to write this and someone took my Lolcat idea.
@Adam Toth - LOL
Platonic love
Angry comment about commenting system despite my obvious inability to follow directions.
Ex: (Can u plz email me how to solve this **random modem issue** ASAP?)
5 Minutes later,
On presumption that no one listened, relentless frustration with the inability to solve the problem, slamming support personnel
Random bolded concluding sentence.
Follow me. Read my blog. I have opinions
ps. why are all comments bold after peters comment?
Trying to close the bold tag from above as recompense.
Why haven't you friend requested me after posting for the first time??????
+1
Philip
Your post is evidence of the vast community-reach your blog has earned you.
Thanks for giving us all with this post, a place to shamelessly act like script-kiddies, trolls, and mega-nerds in the name of cathartic humor. I don't know many authors who would tolerate it much less support such expression.
I've always believed comiserating with good laughter (and a icy pint when possible) is always excellent emotional debugging.
I think I speak for many readers and commenters when I say we're sorry you were frustrated yesterday.
Suggestion to author that article would make a great XKCD comic. Proud of brilliant though and hopes for fame and creation of comic.
char[] superStarz = new char[]{0x46,0x49,0x52,0x53,0x54}
Blog.Write( string.Format("{0}{1}{2}{3}{4}!!!!!!!", superStarz[0],superStarz[1], superStarz[2], superStarz[3], superStarz[4] ))
[1] Citation needed
Asking others if this is something I can use for my project.
Weak one-upmanship reference to Standardized Test Scores from twenty+ years ago.
Vain attempt to get anyone to look at me.
Sobbing in corner while hugging knees.
Holding original Snake Eyes figure.
What are you talking about in this blog? I have no idea why I even read the whole thing. Now this is going to give me bad stomach (a side reaction of my mind not able to understand something).
Save me some hospital bills.
Questions sanity of other comments and blogger, while leaving a spelling error.
Proceed to tell you to be grateful that you don't have to crank your computer for 30 minutes and run windows 1.0 on a black and white monitor with no mouse and several missing keys and can only use it between 6 am and 7 am on even numbered days...
Sent from iPhone 4S
Geo Location: Virginia, USA
I WOULD HAVE POSTED THIS BRILLIANT COMMENT / CALL-TO-ACTION SOONER BUT FACEBOOK / GOOGLE DOCS / WINDOWS 8 / TWITTER / X-BOX / JQUERY PLUGINS / HANSELMAN.COM HAVE ALL CHANGED THEIR LAYOUTS AND I
IN SUMMARY, I DISAGREED WITH YOUR STOCK PHOTO, BUT YOUR SMART ART CHANGED MY OUTLOOK.
ALSO, MY KEYBOARD SEEMS TO LACK A SHIFT KEY AND ONLY HAS THE ANNOYING CASE.
MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE 2012!!!
MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE 2012!!!
MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE 2012!!!
MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE 2012!!!
MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE 2012!!!
Comments are closed.