The new Information Worker Resume or CV Template
Scott Hanselman, Information Worker
Objective
To find a position with a dynamic and progressive technology company that utilizes my leadership abilities and skills deleting email.
Experience
Line Engineer - Gmail - Google
- Designed and implemented a system wherein two gmail accounts with autoresponders replied to each other in a loop until one achieved sentience.
- {I have|I've} been {reading|skimming|pretending to read} e-mails {5 years|10 years|decades|please make it stop}, and yours is definitely one of the {best|most interesting|most thoughtfully written}. {It's|It is} brightened my day and compelled me to {schedule a follow-up meeting|create a recurring meeting|create a high priority rule just for you}. {By all means|Please|I humbly beg you}, don't hesitate to e-mail me again, perhaps expanding your to a wider list?
Product Manager - Microsoft Outlook - Microsoft
- Formulated models to determine team synergies and core competencies based entirely on depth of e-mail threads. This information fed directly into stack ranking calculations at a large unnamed software corporation in the Pacific Northwest
- Investigated "Predictive Email Deletion" in which a sender's e-mail would be remotely deleted before it was sent.
Junior Project Manager - Yahoo! Mail - Yahoo
- Worked on the team that pioneered the technique of sending another email after an unsubscribe request.
- Spearheaded a study group to determine if remote workers could be contacted via e-mail. Was eventually fired as the last remote worker.
Education
Masters Degree in Computer Science
Thesis work on "The Anatomy of a Large-Scale Email Deletion Engine." I set out to prove that one could dramatically increase throughput and productivity through the use of Ctrl-A and Delete in large scale information systems. I successfully proved that information worker productivity scales linearly with e-mail deletion, and as such those with the most email should be in charge.
Bachelors of Science in Software Engineering and Product Management
Explored the psychological efforts on team dynamics of having a project manager with "1000+" in every folder in Microsoft Outlook. Teams of up to 20 people experienced disintegration of cultural barriers and constructive synergies once the first direct manager lost control of their inbox. Cannibalism quickly followed.
Volunteerism
- Quora For Kids - Board member of non-profit dedicated to teaching kids how to unsubscribe from Quora emails.
- Community Committee for Email Compliance - Outreach 501c3 with the mission to increase visibility of the laws around having an email signature longer than the email itself.
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References
Please send email for references.
Going to SXSW? Come see me at 5pm on March 10th talk about email, productivity, and how to truly stay sane.
About Scott
Scott Hanselman is a former professor, former Chief Architect in finance, now speaker, consultant, father, diabetic, and Microsoft employee. He is a failed stand-up comic, a cornrower, and a book author.
About Newsletter
Trevor Sullivan
You can start as soon as you find the acceptance email in your spam folder.
Pete
Just what I needed, now to package it up and reply to all those recruiter mails I've been meaning to reply too...
"Worked on the team that pioneered the technique of sending another email after an unsubscribe request."
This made me laugh really hard. Thanks, Scott.
Have you found your mailbox full of nonsense stuff when you came back from the Christmas holidays, right?
Me too!
Could you make it in for an interview on Friday?
:)
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